Therapy Fund Parenting

Ok, I have been told it is time to try a blog.  I have no idea what I am doing so please be patient.  I may suck at this for a while!  I plan to put my thoughts on parenting, stories about the kids, and anything else that amuses me here.  I figure if I am going to screw the kids up at least they can have a journal to read so that they know I had the best of intentions.

I am passionate about my family, volunteering, trying to maintain weight loss, women’s rights, LGBT rights, and finding ways to get out of cooking and cleaning.  I like realistic people who will laugh with you about your flaws and share their own.  I am currently a MBA student.  I went back to school partly to be more marketable when I am ready to go back into the outside world and mostly so I could prove to myself that I still am in possession of a functioning brain (even if it is a functioning brain that can’t spell).

I have a 9-year-old daughter who loves order, Science, Logic, Engineering, Ballet, Math, Reading, Music, and Greek Mythology.  Really she is passionate about everything and wants to collect Every Damn Thing Ever.  If she had her way she would be in 45 different clubs and activities a week.  When she was 4, she wanted to be a fairy-princess-ballerina-paleontologist-plumber-doctor-dentist-engineer-lawyer-architect.  I think that still sums her up nicely (although she is very anti-princess now).  She is wickedly smart and stunningly beautiful.  She is funny, but she is also 9, so if you accidently laugh at her she will make you wish you never did because she will drive any joke into the ground and make you want to stab your ears.

I also have a 4-year-old daughter.  I still haven’t figured out where her home planet resides, but I am glad she has decided Earth is an OK place for now.  She is my little creative free spirit.  She is passionate about turtles, ballet, music, art, and headbands.  She does not believe in doing anything because someone else thinks it is a good idea.  She believes she owns the Moon and she can build anything!  If she has a broom, orange safety cones, golf clubs, and a dust pan, she will turn it into a pirate ship.  She builds elaborate structures out of multiple different types of blocks (or anything else that she finds).  She spends most of her time doing things her own way and never accepting help and the rest of the time she is “too little” to do anything that she doesn’t want to do.  My brother says her motto is “Vivian doesn’t give a fuck.”  He is right.  She loves to gives things away and to ignore her parents.  She is also the reason I had to utter “we don’t put M&Ms in our vagina.”

I am married to a brilliant and very funny man.  We meet in 1998 and married in 2003.  I still love and like him.  He is brilliant and supportive.  He is tall, intimidating looking, and quiet.  He says he married me to outsource the talking.  If you meet him he will likely scowl at you.  You should stick around though because he will make you laugh like you have never laughed.  He snores loud enough that I contemplate suffocating him 2 or 3 times a week, but luckily I am awake enough that I know I would be devastated if he was gone.

So I guess that is my start for now.  Hope you are all happy and feeling loved tonight.